"How long do you have to get hit in the head before you start asking who's hitting you in the head?"

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Mind the Gaps

The Coast Guard sees “intelligence gaps” in the Dubai Ports World deal, the sheer scope of which they say “infer[s] potential unknown threats against a large number of potential vulnerabilities.”

Now, I know some politicians say these concerns “have been addressed,” but how could we have reviewed and dealt with, to anyone's satisfaction, “a large number of potential vulnerabilities” in just a month or so?

And here’s a particular claim that certainly gives me pause: “port facility operators may have access to Coast Guard security incident response plans.”

BTW: I see the AP is still reporting the number of ports at 6, while UPI claims 21. Which is it?

Labels: ,

Bush v Krugman

One says the economy is “fine”; the other sees things a little differently.

Labels: , ,

Can I Have My Money Back?

I thought our taxes paid for his medical care—why on earth would Bush need to own a Health Savings Account? I only wish our returning veterans had it so good…

Labels: , ,

Monday, February 27, 2006

All He is Saying is View Peace Askance

“For months, 17-year-old Andrew Saraf had been troubled by stories he was hearing about a Peace Studies course offered at his Bethesda high school. He wasn't enrolled in the class but had several friends and classmates who were. Last Saturday, he decided to act.”

Okay, let’s stop right there and take a little quiz, shall we?

Saraf registered his protest by

A) joining the Marines and proudly serving in Samarra.
B) enrolling in the course in order to better form an opinion.
C) attempting to have the course banned from the curriculum.

Hint: The answer is not A. It’s not B, either.

Labels: ,

That’s my Story, and I’m Sticking to It

Hmm...Bush insists we do not torture, Scotty claims that al-Qaida is totally making this shit up, and Rummy embraces the “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. Meanwhile, the former general counsel of the US Navy, the FBI, and detainees’ lawyers say otherwise.

Gee, it’s beginning to look as though the policy of “staying the course” works as poorly for denials as it has for the war itself.

Labels: ,

Saturday, February 25, 2006

South Dakota: Great Faces, Great Places

Famous South Dakotans: Tom Brokaw, Sparky Anderson, Mamie Van Doren

State fish: the walleye

State motto: “Under God the people rule”

Governor: Mike Rounds

Fun fact: The state recognizes a rapist’s fundamental right to total dominion over his victims.

Labels: ,

Friday, February 24, 2006

The Know-Nothings

Bush and Snow claim ignorance of the Dubai debacle; Dole vows not to lobby on behalf of Dubai Ports World, even though they’ve already paid him to do just that.

Labels: ,

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Do as I Say, Not as I Do

George makes a funny:

“Tomorrow I'm going to have a little visit with people in the insurance industry and the health care industry and the business industry to encourage transparency.”

Labels: ,

The Ever-Folksy Bush Introduces a Sure-Fire Cure for High Health Care Costs:


“And so you -- you talk to your doctor, you say, can't we find this drug at a little cheaper cost? Or you go to a specialist, maybe we can do this a little better -- old Joe does it for X, I'm going -- why don't you try it for Y? It allows you to choose treatment or tests that meet your needs in a way that you're comfortable with when it comes to paying the bills. In other words, decisions about routine medical treatments are made by you and the doc, not by third-party people that you never know. And all of a sudden, when you inject this type of thinking in the system, price starts to matter. You're aware of price. You begin to say, well, maybe there's a better way to do this, and [sic] more cost-effective way.”

I love this idea! I can’t wait to find a "doc" willing to give me cut-rate health care!

Or let’s say I have colon cancer, but I couldn’t afford catastrophic health insurance coverage. I’ve heard about a certain promising drug, and I want to try it, but it’s just too darned expensive. What to do? Why, I’ll simply jawbone Roche executive William M. Burns:

Me: “Hey, old Bill, how’s about you sellin’ me some o’ that there Avastin for x amount of dollars? I really, really want to live, but I just can’t afford to pay $100,000 a year.”

Old Bill: "As we look at Avastin and Herceptin pricing, right now the health economics hold up, and therefore I don't see any reason to be touching them.”

Me: "Dang it!"

Labels: ,

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Idiots! Gosh!

If you believe the Constitution “has to change with society,” Scalia thinks you’re an idiot.

Now, I’m no legal scholar, but I thought the Constitution did change as society changed…you know, through…oh, what do you call 'em…oh, yeah: Amendments.

And apparently, Scalia doesn’t think civil rights are a federal issue:

"‘They are not looking for legal flexibility, they are looking for rigidity, whether it's the right to abortion or the right to homosexual activity, they want that right to be embedded from coast to coast and to be unchangeable.’”

Dude, language like that is so 1860! But, as the saying goes, everything old is new again. And with that in mind, here’s a little song for you, Antonin!

Scalia’s Blues: The Bonny Blue Flag ‘06

We are a band of brothers and native to the soil,
Fighting for the property we gained through honest toil Uteri that women might despoil.
And when our rights were threatened the cry rose near and far,
Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.

Hurrah, Hurrah, Hurrah for Southern Rich White Men’s Rights Hurrah.
Three cheers for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.

As long as the Union was faithful to her trust of homos was taboo,
Like friends and brethren, kind were we and just true,
But now when Northern liberal treachery attempts our rights to mar,
We hoist on high the Bonnie Blue flag that bears a single star.

Hurrah, Hurrah, Hurrah for Southern Rich White Men’s Rights Hurrah.
Three cheers for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.

[. . .]

Then here’s to our Confederacy, strong we are and brave,
Like patriots of old we’ll fight, our heritage to save.
And rather than submit to shame, to die regress we would prefer,
So cheer for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.

Labels: , , ,

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney’s Victim Suffers Heart Attack

Scotty is trying to turn the incident into a big joke, but Whittington isn’t out of the woods just yet—a pellet lodged in his heart and caused a heart attack. He’s back in intensive care “for at least a week.”

Labels: ,

Royalty Relief

Hey, everybody! The federal government is giving away $7 billion worth of free oil!

Labels: ,

No Child Left Behind®

Kudos to evangelist Ken Ham, who instructs children “to reject much of geology, paleontology and evolutionary biology as a sinister tangle of lies.” Here’s an example of Ham’s good works:

“Emily Maynard, 12, was also delighted with Ham's presentation. Home-schooled and voraciously curious, she had recently read an encyclopedia for fun — and caught herself almost believing the entry on evolution. ‘They were explaining about apes standing up, evolving to man, and I could kind of see that's how it could happen,’ she said.

Ham convinced her otherwise. As her mother beamed, Emily repeated Ham's mantra: ‘The Bible is the history book of the universe.’”

You go, Brother Ham! I mean, ultimately, who cares if little Emily is left behind academically today, or in the marketplace tomorrow, as long as she isn’t Left Behind® when it really counts—during the Rapture?

Now, who’s up for a good old-fashioned book burning? I call dibs on the encyclopedia!

Labels: , ,

Monday, February 13, 2006


Wake up, America! Threats to our democracy are simply everywhere these days! The enemy has even infiltrated the VA!

Maybe we should detain and question the newspaper’s editor, too—I mean, if it’s seditious to write a letter like this, isn’t it doubly seditious to print it?

Honestly, if a nurse feels free to dissent in New Mexico, home of the GOP Loyalty Oath, we’ve obviously got a big problem! Let’s just hope KBR finishes those detention camps soon, so all of us decent Americans can adore our president and enjoy his perfect, not-open-to-criticism reign in peace!

Labels: ,

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Obligatory "Cheney Shot an Old Man in the Face" Post

Deadeye Dick!

Here’s a quotation from the AP:

“‘The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good.’”

Now here’s a quotation from the NRA’s gun safety page:

“Be absolutely sure you have identified your target beyond any doubt. Equally important, be aware of the area beyond your target. This means observing your prospective area of fire before you shoot. Never fire in a direction in which there are people or any other potential for mishap. Think first. Shoot second.”



Friday, February 10, 2006

This Land is was Your Land, This Land is was My Land. . .

Bush wants to sell our national forests “in ‘isolated parcels’ ranging from a quarter of an acre to 200 acres, much of it in California.”


Who Knew?

What’s the difference between Orlando Bosch, a man convicted of an actual terrorist attack in Miami, and Jose Bove, a man who trashed a McDonald’s in France? Apparently, Bove is the really bad one.

Labels: ,

Hearts and Minds

“It's difficult to know how many of the 750 men taken to Guantanamo were dangerous to Americans when they arrived, let alone how many of the innocent detainees among them may have acquired a lust for American blood from years of being jailed, humiliated, and brutalized by Americans. The administration's unspoken logic appears to be: Better to ruin the lives of 10 innocent men than to let one who might be a terrorist go free.”

Read the entire article here.

And bear in mind: More than half of the Guantanamo detainees, despite being jailed and “questioned” for years, haven’t been charged with anything.

Labels: ,

Don’t Be Such a “Downer”

The economy is “robust,” right? So if the American people are at risk from eating ground beef, let them eat steak!

Labels: ,

Caught by Surprise?

Brownie now says he “personally notified the White House” that a NO levee had broken. Now, who could have anticipated that ?


Go Big Pharma!

Does stuff like this even surprise anyone anymore?
Sigh. . .I didn't think so.


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Are You Aware of Any Suspicious Redcoat or Redcoat-Affiliated Activity? Send Your Tips to gwashington1776@hotmail.com

If you haven’t already, go over to Crooks and Liars and listen to Alberto Gonzales cite the precedent for electronic surveillance during wartime. Listen again, if necessary. Yup—he actually said it.

Now, some of you might think Gonzales is an idiot, some of you might think these hearings are simply a joke to him, and some of you may even think, “Geez…no wonder he wasn’t sworn in.” But who cares what you think, because there’s one (revisionist?) history major in particular who thinks he’s the greatest, and that’s all that really matters.

Labels: ,

Friday, February 03, 2006

We're Spending It There So We Won't Have to Spend It Over Here


“Currently, the Defense Department says it is spending about $4.5 billion a month on the conflict in Iraq, or about $100,000 per minute.

“Current spending in Afghanistan is about $800 million a month, or about $18,000 per minute.”

I guess now we know what “freedom isn’t free” really means.

Labels: , ,

Good News!

According the WaPo, weekly wages have fallen for three years in a row, “reflecting higher inflation, the modest pace of pay increases and the impact of rising health insurance costs on take-home pay.” Clearly, the president’s fiscal policies are designed to make sure we can all get to heaven.

Labels: ,

Yeah, But…

Himself, during the SOTU: “I urge the Congress to act responsibly, and make the tax cuts permanent.”

So where is this $439.3 billion going to come from, exactly?

Bonus: Scroll down in the link above to see this little gem:

“‘Now in the fifth year of this global war, the ideas and proposals in this document are provided as a roadmap for change, leading to victory,’ said Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld…”

Hey. . .did he just admit that his “ideas and proposals” from the first four years were a total cluster-fuck?

Labels: , ,

For some reason, many young people just don’t want to join the military these days. Hmm…how can the Bush Administration help to make those $40,000 enlistment bonuses more attractive? Per usual, a brilliant solution!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

If it sounds too good to be true. . .

I read the SOTU transcripts yesterday and noticed this:

“. . .tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy Initiative -- a 22-percent increase in clean-energy research -- at the Department of Energy, to push for breakthroughs in two vital areas.”

Sounds great, doesn’t it? But then I read the NYT today and discovered this:

“The Energy Department will begin laying off researchers at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in the next week or two because of cuts to its budget.

“A veteran researcher said the staff had been told that the cuts would be concentrated among researchers in wind and biomass, which includes ethanol. Those are two of the technologies that Mr. Bush cited on Tuesday night as holding the promise to replace part of the nation's oil imports.

“The budget for the laboratory, which is just west of Denver, was cut by nearly 15 percent, to $174 million from $202 million, requiring the layoff of about 40 staff members out of a total of 930, said a spokesman, George Douglas. The cut is for the fiscal year that began on Oct. 1.”