Huh?

Apparently, special additives in Winston cigarettes help build strong muscles...

...but may also cause substantial hair loss.

Tags: japan, cigarettes, wtf?

Mmm!

They sell beer in vending machines here! I'm working, so I haven't bought any (yet), but I've seen other people do it. They also sell this:

Tags: japan, vending machines, pocari sweat

I'm in Tokyo!

And my trip is off to a very good start. Here's what I found, right off the bat, at Narita airport:

Who knows what treasures I'll discover next...

japan, smorking

Not Dead...

...just working my ass off. I'm leaving for Japan on Friday; maybe I'll post a blurry, poorly framed picture or two.

Before I disappear again, though: Is it me, or have police officers been tasering the shit out of people lately? When Tasers were first introduced, I distinctly remember they were hailed as an alternative to the use of deadly force. Apparently that's no longer the case...or maybe running onto a ball field, failing to sign a traffic ticket, or exercising one's right to free speech are capital offenses these days.

Tags: japan, taser

Wow!

I'm in Brussels!

This city is pretty darn cool. Tomorrow I'll be in Berlin—I hear it's a happenin' place, too...

My Pet Phone

mr. olio bought me an iPhone (thanks, sugar!), and I’m having a lot of fun playing around with it. I’ve put all my contacts and a few playlists on it, of course, and I also have Shazam and a few other cool little things. I got the free Kindle app, too, which I really like—yesterday at lunch I started reading and overshot my break time by fifteen minutes. Luckily, I’m the boss, and because I’m always really busy and usually pretty grumpy, I just walked quickly back into the office with an unhappy expression on my face and no one suspected a thing. I think.


Tags: iPhone, shazam, kindle

The Obligatory Michael Jackson Post

Not a fan by any means, although I really liked the Jackson 5 when I was a girl. I was impacted by his death, though, because this afternoon traffic in Westwood was particularly awful and it took me a long time to get home.

2 Jesus Juices, please! And stop staring at my eyebrows, nose, lips, and chin!



Tags: michael jackson, creepy monster face, jesus juice, westside traffic sucks

Same Old, Same Old

I just got back from Switzerland, and tomorrow I leave for the UK. In between, a virus attacked my retinas, so last Friday I had to have AN INJECTION IN MY FREAKIN’ EYEBALL. It was as creepy as it sounds.

Tags: retina, travel, wtf?

Goodbye...

...you ignorant, bloodthirsty piece of shit.

“Hello?...Tony? Pootie?....anybody there?”


Tags: goodbye, george w bush, goodbye george w bush, rat bastard, goodbye george w bush you rat bastard, smug, goodbye george w bush you smug rat bastard, half-witted, goodbye george w bush you smug half-witted rat bastard

Harold and Maudlin

Mr. olio had to work today, so I'm recording the Eagles/Giants game so we can watch it together when he gets home. In the meantime, I'm watching trying to watch Harold and Maude. I've never seen it before, although I'd always heard really good things about it. So far, though, I think it's awful.

Maybe it gets better?

Tags: harold and maude

Wow!

We just had an earthquake. It felt much stronger than last year's, but it didn't last as long. It's such a freaky feeling—I'm dizzy! I hope everybody is okay...




Tags: los angeles, earthquake

Okay, So Maybe I Do Believe in Miracles...

Dolphins win! Dolphins win!



Mr. olio contributed greatly to the win by yelling at the TV, and I did my share by not looking directly the the screen, and sometimes leaving the room completely, during crucial plays. It was a real team effort, and victory feels fine!

Tags: miami dolphins

This. Week. Sucked.

My dear mr. olio underwent another surgery, and I had to fire a good friend...



Tags: sad

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I’m especially thankful to be home with my dear mr. olio,* and I sincerely hope that all of you are able to spend the day with those you love, too.

And now here's a picture that made me laugh out loud:



*And I’m going to demonstrate said thankfulness by cooking enough turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, asparagus, gravy, and pecan pie to kill him with.

image

An Atheist Abroad

I just got back from a business trip to Italy. I stayed in Riva del Garda
and VeronaEverywhere I went, Obama's image was on the covers of newspapers and magazines, and his election was the main topic of conversation. Everyone was just so excited and optimistic. It was great!

I know these pictures are kind of shitty, but I was working, so what photos I did take were taken on the fly.

Tags: italy, riva del garda, verona

What Do You Do...

...when you haven't posted anything for a while and you think you should, but you're too tired lazy drunk to actually compose something? Why, throw up a Blogthings, of course!

You Are Boxing

You are assertive, strong, and downright aggressive. You have the power to demolish your opponent... And you have the endurance to make sure the job is finished. (That's me, all right...)

What Olympic Sport Are You?

Tags: blogthings, beer blogging

I’m the King o’ the Cats!

When I was a little girl, the The King of the Cats was one of my favorite stories. If you don’t know the tale, it goes something like this:

One cold winter’s evening the sexton's wife was sitting by the fireside with her big black cat, Old Tom, on the other side, both half asleep and waiting for the master to come home. They waited and they waited, till at last he came rushing in, calling out, 'Who's Tommy Tildrum?' in such a wild way that both his wife and his cat stared at him to know what was the matter.

'Why, what's the matter?' said his wife, 'and why do you want to know who Tommy Tildrum is?'

'Oh, I've had such an adventure! I was digging old Mr. Henry's grave when I guess I must have fallen asleep, and I only woke up by hearing a cat's Meow.'

'Meow!' said Old Tom in answer.

'Yes, just like that! So I looked over the edge of the grave, and what do you think I saw?'

'Now, how should I know?' said the sexton's wife.

'Why, nine black cats all like our friend Tom here, all with white chests. And what do you think they were carrying? Why, a small coffin covered with a black velvet pall, and on the pall was a small crown all of gold, and at every third step they took they cried all together, Meow—'

'Meow!' said Old Tom again.

'Yes, just like that!' said the sexton; 'and as they came nearer and nearer to me I could see them more distinctly because their eyes shone out with a sort of green light. Well, they all came toward me, eight of them carrying the coffin, and the biggest cat of all walking in front for all the world like—but look at our Tom, how he's looking at me. You'd think he knew all I was saying.'

'Go on, go on,' said his wife; 'never mind Old Tom.'

'Well, as I was saying, they came toward me slowly and solemnly, and at every third step crying all together, Meow—'

'Meow!' said Old Tom again.

'Yes, just like that, till they came and stood right opposite Mr. Henry's grave, where I was, when they all stood still and looked straight at me. I did feel queer, that I did! But look at Old Tom; he's looking at me just like they did.'

'Go on, go on,' said his wife; 'never mind Old Tom.'

'Where was I? Oh, they stood still looking at me, when the one that wasn't carrying the coffin came forward and, staring straight at me, said to me—yes, I tell you, said to me, with a squeaky voice, "Tell Tom Tildrum that Tim Toldrum's dead," and that's why I asked you if you knew who Tom Tildrum was, for how can I tell Tom Tildrum Tim Toldrum's dead if I don't know who Tom Tildrum is?'

'Look at Old Tom, look at Old Tom!' screamed his wife.

And well he might look, for Tom was swelling and Tom was staring, and at last Tom shrieked out, 'What—old Tom's dead? Then I'm the King o' the Cats!' and rushed up the chimney and was nevermore seen.

Neat, huh?

I’ve been thinking about this story a lot lately because, quite out of the blue, the owner of the company I work for offered me the Director position. . .

. . .and today I officially accepted her offer.

MEEE-OW!



Tags: king o’ the cats, folklore, olio, now what?

image

Really?

8000 people gathered in Laguna Niguel yesterday to moon passing Amtrak trains:

The crowd, which included children with their parents as well as middle-aged adults -- stood on the shoulder of a road parallel to the tracks to show themselves. The sideshow included barbecues, T-shirt sales and RV parties.

I’d never heard of this tradition before, so I Googled it and found the event Website. Apparently, the show is a real hit with passengers, and the trains actually slow down so people can get a better look.


Weird.

Tags: mooning amtrak, laguna niguel, orange county, wtf

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits!

“Before I cut, I, uh, want to, ah, thank you for listening to my words, man, fellow, uh space travelers.”



Tags: george carlin, seven words you can never say on television

Long Time No Blog

Golly, where to begin: mr. olio underwent emergency surgery and a weeks-long recovery period. He’s fine now, praise be to medical science! Life had barely got back to normal when olioboy announced his impending nuptials (he’s all growns up!). The mr. and I had a lot of fun buying fancy weddin’ duds and ordering wedding gifts, then it was off to the week-long celebration. The ceremony itself was absolutely lovely—it was held outdoors on a picture-perfect day (yes, it was secular).

And those are just the high points!