olio

"How long do you have to get hit in the head before you start asking who's hitting you in the head?"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Goodbye...

...you ignorant, bloodthirsty piece of shit.

“Hello?...Tony? Pootie?....anybody there?”



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Thursday, April 27, 2006

How Do I Love Thee?

Rahm Emanuel (D-IL) released this statement today:
With customers paying over $3.00 at the pump, I am pleased that my Republican colleagues have noticed. It's ironic that the same leadership asking the President to consider an investigation into price fixing is also responsible for an Energy Bill that's providing oil companies with $15 billion dollars in subsidies.

When the Congress gives away billions in taxpayer dollars to an industry that does not need another handout and refuses to act while Americans struggle with record-high gas prices, maybe it would be more appropriate for the Congress to review its own actions — and inaction — on this critical issue.

Succinctly put, hmm? Even better, though, is this snarky treat, which he reportedly read on the House floor:
Mr. Speaker, investigators have recently uncovered a letter from the Republican Leadership to special interest lobbyists—I'd like to share it with you today.

Dear K Street Lobbyists,
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth of thy oil wells,
For thou shall have $14.5 billion to drill them.
I love thee to the heights of thy drug profits,
For the Medicare bill gives you $139 billion.
I love thee for thy golf courses, and for thy private jets.
I love thee for thy donations, libations, and vacations.
For now we must part, and I'll call it reform,
But remember, in December, once we get past November,
The travel ban expires, and I'll meet you at the tees.

Yours forever, 'cause I can't quit you,
The Republican Congress.

Mmmm…sarcastilicious!

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Bush on “Energy Security”

Apparently, “hidden” taxes on working people, farmers, and small businesses are unfortunate but unavoidable, and so the American people must continue to bear the strain of high energy prices. Actually raising taxes on oil and gas companies in order to relieve that strain is out of the question, though:

Gasoline price increases are like a hidden tax on the working people. They're like a tax on our farmers. They're like a tax on small businesses. Energy prices are—energy experts predict gas prices are going to remain high throughout the summer, and that's going to be a continued strain on the American people.

And so the fundamental question is, what are we going to do? What can the government do? One of the past responses by government, particularly from the party of which I am not a member, has been to have—to propose price fixing, or increase the taxes.”


There’s no need to point out, of course, that the party of which Bush is a member is the party of Arbusto, the Condoleezza (since renamed the Altair Voyager), and still-secret energy meetings.

“Why just screw an intern when you can screw everybody?”

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

BMW’s Clever Car

This 3-wheeled car runs on compressed natural gas, gets 108mpg, and may be available in Europe in as soon as five years. Oh—and it may cost “as little as £5,000”—that’s about $8900.





According to BMW’s website, “Clever is not expected to make it to the USA.” The site doesn’t say why not, though…but it’s probably because US automakers will unveil something even more clean, efficient, and affordable soon, right? Right.

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

All Your Dollar Reserves Are Belong to Us!

“The United Arab Emirates said it was considering moving one-tenth of its dollar reserves to the euro, while the governor of the Saudi Arabian central bank condemned the decision by the United States to force Dubai Ports World to transfer its ownership to a ‘US entity,’ the UK Independent reported.”


pwnd!

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Thursday, March 02, 2006

Heat the Rich

Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas—big surprise, huh?) thinks Venezuela’s charitable donation of heating oil to help America’s poor may be "part of an unfriendly government's increasingly belligerent and hostile foreign policy."

Click here to read the transcript of a Barton phone interview and related press. Larry Neal’s response to Joe Kennedy is a real hoot.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Royalty Relief

Hey, everybody! The federal government is giving away $7 billion worth of free oil!

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