"How long do you have to get hit in the head before you start asking who's hitting you in the head?"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

An Open Letter to Wal-Mart

Dear Wal-Mart,

Recently, I had an epiphany while watching a DVD that contained footage of your inspiring Wal-Mart cheer. For some strange reason, as the associates writhed about while screaming “Give me a squiggly!” I envisioned the sacred spermatozoa. That got me to thinking about Wal-Mart’s prudent decision to forgo selling emergency contraception, which is the reason for this letter.

What is Wal-Mart’s policy regarding prescriptions for Viagra or Cialis? In other words, before making erections physically possible, are Wal-Mart pharmacists certain that they are morally permissible? If not, I sincerely ask that you immediately re-think company policy. I suggest that all male customers tendering such a prescription be required to show a valid certificate of marriage. Further, these men’s wives should have to accompany them and show proper identification. That way, your pharmacists will know that each man is in a monogamous, church-and-state-approved union to a woman of childbearing age. Otherwise, Wal-Mart might be unwittingly abetting these men in wasting their “squigglies” on some of the same wanton women who request emergency contraception—thoughtless women who all too late regret having had sex for pure pleasure or, in the case of rape, having been foolish enough to travel about unchaperoned.

In closing, I highly commend you for your virtuous resolution to withhold emergency contraception from women. Doing so was an important step, but I fervently hope it was but the first step toward a glorious era of truly righteous retail.

Sincerely Yours,


PS: I will write again soon with my thoughts on makeup, tank tops, and beer, all of which, unfortunately, you continue to distribute with reckless disregard.

Tags: , ,

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Profit of God

I always wonder what Christians think when they read things like this:
Historian and defense industry expert Charles Patricoff believes that based on history our role in Iraq should be a permanent one. "Look at how we helped rebuild Germany and Japan after World War II. Because of the good we did there and are doing in Iraq, I don't believe we should ever leave Iraq. If we stay and rebuild Iraq, we will demonstrate to the world that we remain the best force for good in the world. More importantly, we as Christians can better influence that region for the Kingdom of God."

[. . .]

. . .Patricoff has worked in the defense industry for over 27 years. He currently works as a Sr. Contract Manager for Ball Aerospace & Technologies Corp, a major supplier for the military, NASA, and Homeland Security.
Now, I realize that critical thinking is antithetical to religious belief, so I don’t expect them to detect the false analogy or to question the unsubstantiated claims presented as fact in this first paragraph, but surely the information presented in the final paragraph makes clear to all the decidedly worldly motives behind Patricoff’s desire for perpetual “influence” in the region.

Tags: , ,

Labels: , , ,

Monday, August 13, 2007

Math for the Null Set

Here’s today’s presentation of I Shit You Not, courtesy of Christian Newswire :
This August and September, millions of children grades K-12 will be heading back to school. According to the projected figures put out by the National Center for Education Statistics, approximately 6.5 million children will be conducting their studies in private schools. In addition, an estimated 2 million children will be homeschooling (based on past trends reported by the NHERI). And all of these children, to one degree or another, will be learning math. But will they be learning math biblically?

The majority of Christian educators struggle with integrating math and the biblical worldview. Apart from an added scripture verse or spiritual thought at the bottom of the page, most Christian math curriculums differ very little from secular curriculums. Now at last there is an easy-to-read book parents and educators can use to both understand and teach math from a biblical perspective.

In clear, every-day language, Beyond Numbers dispels the common misconception that math is neutral and exposes the humanistic and naturalistic philosophies presented in typical math presentations. This book demonstrates how math points to God's character and how, when viewed from a biblical perspective, math becomes an exciting, real-life tool.

The entire second half of the book takes readers on a step-by-step journey through the teaching process. Although written with the homeschooling parent in mind, Christian school teachers, parents, and anyone else interested in viewing or teaching math biblically will find that this book contains a wealth of valuable information. The book explains how to recognize the harm in math books and how to transform math classes by teaching from everyday experiences. Practical suggestions, personal examples, curriculum reviews, and carefully documented references are all presented in a conversational, non-technical style.

The 97 page paperback book is illustrated with humorous cartoons that reinforce the book's message. Beyond Numbers retails at $8.99 ($5.99 as an eBook) and can be purchased from a variety of vendors or directly from the publisher at christianperspective.net. Media personnel can email info@christianperspective.net or call 703-352-0681 for a complementary review copy.
I am so ordering this!

Tags: , , math

Labels: , ,

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Another Victory for the God Squad

Gays and lesbians are being forced back into the closet where they belong, or else:
Samir Shaba sits in a restaurant, nervously describing gay life in Iraq. He speaks in a low voice, occasionally glancing over his shoulder.

The heavyset, clean-shaven Christian says that before the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, he frequented the city's gay blogs, online chat rooms and dance clubs, where he wore flashy tight clothes, his hair long and loose to his shoulders.

After the invasion, he and other gays and lesbians were driven underground by sectarian violence and religious extremists. Shaba, 25, packed his flashy clothes away, started wearing baseball caps and baggy T-shirts and stopped visiting clubs and chat rooms. But he couldn't bear to cut his hair.

[. . .]

In October 2005, Iraq's leading Shiite Muslim cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani, issued a fatwa, or religious decree, on his website forbidding homosexuality and declaring that gays and lesbians should be "punished, in fact, killed."

"The people involved should be killed in the worst, most severe way," the decree said.
Giuliani is right: Thank God George Bush is our president. Our righteous leader and his glorious war have set the world on fire with religious fervor—OT-style!

Tags: , , human rights

Labels: , ,