Not Dead...

...just working my ass off. I'm leaving for Japan on Friday; maybe I'll post a blurry, poorly framed picture or two.

Before I disappear again, though: Is it me, or have police officers been tasering the shit out of people lately? When Tasers were first introduced, I distinctly remember they were hailed as an alternative to the use of deadly force. Apparently that's no longer the case...or maybe running onto a ball field, failing to sign a traffic ticket, or exercising one's right to free speech are capital offenses these days.

Tags: japan, taser

Goodbye...

...you ignorant, bloodthirsty piece of shit.

“Hello?...Tony? Pootie?....anybody there?”


Tags: goodbye, george w bush, goodbye george w bush, rat bastard, goodbye george w bush you rat bastard, smug, goodbye george w bush you smug rat bastard, half-witted, goodbye george w bush you smug half-witted rat bastard

San Francisco Values

Watch the YouTube embed below, then click here and here for more information about these “San Francisco values” that, oddly, don’t merit attention on FOX News.

Who enables these vile folks

to spew hate constantly?

M-I-C

K-E-Y

M-O-U-S-E!

Tags: hate speech, disney, spocko

A God-Given Plan for Victory

Boo-hoo! Secularists are all upset about our new and improved rules for the treatment of suspects…That just goes to show you how godless those godless liberals really are: I mean, honestly, how many times do the words “habeas corpus” appear in the Bible? About as many times as “penicillin,” “equal rights,” or “Social Security” do, that’s how many! (That means “zero,” for all you smarty-pants, Constitution-worshipping Sodomites out there!)

Little by little, true Americans are rejecting Satan-inspired Enlightenment ideals and embracing those of the God-fearing Bronze Age. Glory! I say we take the gloves off and give our enemies a righteous taste of biblical justice!

GOD, our heavenly Commander-in-Chief, has written up some brilliant battlefield tactics and omnisciently and benevolently included them in the HOLY BIBLE for our use in modern warfare. These methods worked beautifully back in the day—Eat it, Amorites! Hasta la vista, Perizzites!—so why wouldn’t they work just as well now?

You’ve got to admire the ruthless efficiency of ripping pregnant enemy combatants to shreds, killing them and their horrible little pre-insurgent fetuses in one fell swoop: It’s a divinely inspired two-fer!

Or imagine—now, I’m just thinking out loud here, I haven’t quite worked out all the details—but imagine a trained army of she-bears that maul our enemy’s insolent children to death. Talk about “shock and awe”! Those evil little kids would shape up but quick, I’ll bet! Plus, we’d save a bundle on weapons,* and most of our troops could come home just as soon as we deploy the she-bears!

What’s your favorite Bible-based plan for total victory? Remember: If it’s in the Good Book, it’s all good!




*And bear food, if we also allow the bears to eat all the bad children they’ve mauled. That part of the Scripture isn’t clear to me.

Technorati tags: torture, religion, wtf?

One “Good PR Move” Deserves Another

Today Bush begins a two-day meeting at Camp David “to reassess strategy on Iraq” and possibly “contend with fallout from” the recent Guantanamo suicides. I’m curious to see if he publicly distances himself from Colleen Graffy’s remarks on the incident, which have angered some allies and prompted this graphic response from UK cartoonist Martin Rowson:

What do you think of this cartoon?

Degradation: As American as Baseball Paintball and "A Few Bad Apples" Pie

A placard from Camp Nama in Iraq,
where some detainees were used as paintball targets.

June is Torture Awareness Month, and the Pentagon has chosen to mark the occasion by “omit[ting] from new detainee policies a key tenet of the Geneva Convention that explicitly bans ‘humiliating and degrading treatment.’”

Let that sink in: The Pentagon has decided that US armed forces—acting on behalf of me, and you, and our parents, and our children, and all of our friends and neighbors—can humiliate and degrade prisoners. Humiliate and degrade.

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

“These are the Worst of a Very Bad Lot”

Remember when Rumsfeld said the Guantanamo detainees were “among the most dangerous, best trained, vicious killers on the face of the earth” ?

Well, we’re letting 141 of them go because “they pose no threat to U.S. security,” so I guess they’ve been rehabilitated. Hooray!

I’m reminded of a well-known quotation…I can’t remember it exactly, so I’ll paraphrase:

Give a man a beating and you subdue him for a day. Give a man many beatings, deface his holy book, menace him with dogs, smear him with fake menstrual blood, threaten to rape his children, and shove a banana up his ass, and you subdue him for a lifetime.

Or something like that…

“So Long, and Thanks for All the Fists!”

“With Regret and with Certainty”

Craig Murray, former ambassador to Uzbekistan, claims that the US and the UK “knowingly accept evidence obtained under torture”:

”I saw evidence of scores of cases of torture in Uzbekistan: people boiled to death, photos of serious injuries, mutilation of genitals, rape of individuals in front of their relatives... until they would sign a confession." When he tried to share his concern with British diplomats, he was told that Foreign Minister Jack Straw "discussed the issue with the head of MI6 and reached the conclusion that we should continue to receive intelligence material obtained from confessions under torture and that this would not contravene the U.N. Convention against Torture.

Boiled? Mutilated? Raped?

And soon, I’m sure, some will ask the inevitable question: Why does Craig Murray hate Freedom®?

Do You Remember Stalag 17 ?

There’s a scene in the movie where a POW gets a letter from his wife that says something like “you’re not going to believe it, but I found a baby on our doorstep” and “you’re not going to believe it, but it looks just like me.” The poor guy just can’t bring himself to confront the obvious, so he sort of goes into a trance, saying “I believe it” over and over again.

Well, that’s how I think most pro-torture “war on terror” mongers must react when they read articles like this one:

“Detainee in Photo With Dog Was 'High-Value' Suspect”

Sure, US interrogators threatened him with a dog, but only because he was deemed a “high-value” suspect—nicknamed "al-Qaeda," no less. He was so very high value, in fact, that he was subsequently released.

Repeat after me: I believe it…I believe it…

That’s my Story, and I’m Sticking to It

Hmm...Bush insists we do not torture, Scotty claims that al-Qaida is totally making this shit up, and Rummy embraces the “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. Meanwhile, the former general counsel of the US Navy, the FBI, and detainees’ lawyers say otherwise.

Gee, it’s beginning to look as though the policy of “staying the course” works as poorly for denials as it has for the war itself.

Hearts and Minds

“It's difficult to know how many of the 750 men taken to Guantanamo were dangerous to Americans when they arrived, let alone how many of the innocent detainees among them may have acquired a lust for American blood from years of being jailed, humiliated, and brutalized by Americans. The administration's unspoken logic appears to be: Better to ruin the lives of 10 innocent men than to let one who might be a terrorist go free.”

Read the entire article here.

And bear in mind: More than half of the Guantanamo detainees, despite being jailed and “questioned” for years, haven’t been charged with anything.

“The Holy Grail of Crowd Control”

What do we want? Peace! When do we want it? OW!