"How long do you have to get hit in the head before you start asking who's hitting you in the head?"

Monday, November 27, 2006

Attention Christian Americans: Baby Gap Ain’t Just a Store in the Mall

If, like Mark Steyn (aka “One Jackoff”), you’re concerned that “[w]ith every passing month, there are more Muslims and fewer Episcopalians,” this news will probably make you feel a little better:
Iraqi friends used to reassure me that there would be no civil war because so many Shia and Sunni were married to each other. These mixed couples are now being compelled to divorce by their families. "I love my husband but my family has forced me to divorce him because we are Shia and he is Sunni," said Hiba Sami, a mother, to a UN official. "My family say they [the husband's family] are insurgents ... and that living with him is an offence to God." Members of mixed marriages had set up an association to protect each other called the Union for Peace in Iraq but they were soon compelled to dissolve it when several founding members were murdered.
Clearly, while Iraq’s civil war (and its bonus destruction of Muslim marriages) certainly helps our side, it’s just not enough: Patriotic Christian Americans need to start fucking a lot more.

What do you think: Should President Bush consider implementing a national “Bone Your Wife for Jesus” initiative?

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Saturday, November 25, 2006

4-Day Birthday Weekends are the Shizz!

Mr. olio gave me an iPod, and I gave myself a digital camera. Here’s a picture I took this afternoon:

Honestly, this weekend has been great: plenty of rest, lots of good food and drink, and presents! And there’s still one day left!

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Oh, She of Little Faith!

How do Pentecostals spin these unfortunate incidents? Do they say her faith simply wasn’t strong enough and she therefore displeased GOD, who then punished her with intense pain, internal bleeding, paralysis, and a slow, ignominious death?

Or do they say she pleased GOD so much that he rewarded her with intense pain, internal bleeding, paralysis, and a slow, glorious death?

"Ah don' git it...The bahble sez that thar snake wern't s'posed ta hurt me, but hit shore did!"

In a world chock full o' fucked-up religions, this one is spectacularly fucked-up. On the other hand, at least these nuts only kill themselves ...

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