Huh?

Apparently, special additives in Winston cigarettes help build strong muscles...

...but may also cause substantial hair loss.

Tags: japan, cigarettes, wtf?

Mmm!

They sell beer in vending machines here! I'm working, so I haven't bought any (yet), but I've seen other people do it. They also sell this:

Tags: japan, vending machines, pocari sweat

I'm in Tokyo!

And my trip is off to a very good start. Here's what I found, right off the bat, at Narita airport:

Who knows what treasures I'll discover next...

japan, smorking

You Learn Something New Every Day!

For example, I always thought that the UN voted to create the state of Israel, but apparently it was created by a miracle—and the UN "has hated them [sic] ever since." Also, I always believed natural disasters were, um, natural, but apparently they're sent by a homicidal deity* who goes absolutely batshit whenever anyone "messes with" his favorite patch of dirt.

See for yourself:


This explains a lot, doesn't it?

*"God is scary—to His enemies."

Tags: chick tracts, fundie follies

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

I always wondered why chocolate is toxic to dogs...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I’m especially thankful to be home with my dear mr. olio,* and I sincerely hope that all of you are able to spend the day with those you love, too.

And now here's a picture that made me laugh out loud:



*And I’m going to demonstrate said thankfulness by cooking enough turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, asparagus, gravy, and pecan pie to kill him with.

image

Really?

8000 people gathered in Laguna Niguel yesterday to moon passing Amtrak trains:

The crowd, which included children with their parents as well as middle-aged adults -- stood on the shoulder of a road parallel to the tracks to show themselves. The sideshow included barbecues, T-shirt sales and RV parties.

I’d never heard of this tradition before, so I Googled it and found the event Website. Apparently, the show is a real hit with passengers, and the trains actually slow down so people can get a better look.


Weird.

Tags: mooning amtrak, laguna niguel, orange county, wtf

And Now For Something Completely Different

Islanders from Lesbos sue gay group over use of ‘Lesbian’ in name.

Tags: lesbian, lesbos, wtf

Warning: Contains Nuts/Nut Products

Hey, kids! Turn your secular candy into righteous Mormon candy!

Mmm! Celestial Cleaning!

And why eat a miniature Mr. Goodbar® when you can enjoy a delicious mini-Gordon B. Hinckley instead?



Tags: mormon, lds, gordon b. hinckley

Babs Bush: Nix to Flick Chick’s Sick Shtick!

“And, let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamned wars in the first place.”
“Oh, you silly little naïf! Most soldiers are underprivileged anyway, so this war is working out very well for them…”
“Yeah! Suck it, Sally! This war is my god now!”

Tags: sally field, barbara bush, kathy griffin, 2007 emmy awards

An Open Letter to Wal-Mart

Dear Wal-Mart,

Recently, I had an epiphany while watching a DVD that contained footage of your inspiring Wal-Mart cheer. For some strange reason, as the associates writhed about while screaming “Give me a squiggly!” I envisioned the sacred spermatozoa. That got me to thinking about Wal-Mart’s prudent decision to forgo selling emergency contraception, which is the reason for this letter.

What is Wal-Mart’s policy regarding prescriptions for Viagra or Cialis? In other words, before making erections physically possible, are Wal-Mart pharmacists certain that they are morally permissible? If not, I sincerely ask that you immediately re-think company policy. I suggest that all male customers tendering such a prescription be required to show a valid certificate of marriage. Further, these men’s wives should have to accompany them and show proper identification. That way, your pharmacists will know that each man is in a monogamous, church-and-state-approved union to a woman of childbearing age. Otherwise, Wal-Mart might be unwittingly abetting these men in wasting their “squigglies” on some of the same wanton women who request emergency contraception—thoughtless women who all too late regret having had sex for pure pleasure or, in the case of rape, having been foolish enough to travel about unchaperoned.

In closing, I highly commend you for your virtuous resolution to withhold emergency contraception from women. Doing so was an important step, but I fervently hope it was but the first step toward a glorious era of truly righteous retail.

Sincerely Yours,

Lee

PS: I will write again soon with my thoughts on makeup, tank tops, and beer, all of which, unfortunately, you continue to distribute with reckless disregard.

Tags: wal-mart, emergency contraception, boner pills

Uncanny!

Doesn’t alleged closet case Bob “Lewdness and Indecent Exposure” Allen

look a little bit like fictional character Vito Spatafore?

And the resemblance doesn't stop there: Bob and Vito are both married. Bob and Vito are both fathers. Bob and Vito are both members of powerful crime families (Although to be honest, the Republicans make the Sopranos look like pikers).

Tags: bob allen, vito spatafore

Sunday Cartoons for the "White and Delightsome"

Enjoy:

Tags: religion, mormonism, youtube

Hmm…What Rhymes with Blastula?

Tomorrow is PZ Myers’s 50^th birthday. Richard Dawkins has penned a birthday poem, and Pharyngula readers are posting their own poems/greetings in a comments thread. Here’s my effort:

I think that I shall never see another quite like dear PZ.

The man who blogs for you and me will soon turn half a century!

The man who makes the fundies cry when he explains ID’s a lie

by showing them the alterations in nature’s most bizarre creations.

A family man with wife and kids, who intimately studies squids

’cause he prefers cephalopods to any silly man-made gods!

Be honest: It’s a masterpiece, right?

Tags: pharyngula, pz myers, poetry, misc

This Post was Supernaturally Translated Via the Magic-Rock-In-Hat Method

It looks as though Mitt Romney is the GOP candidate to watch:

Mitt Romney's friends will tell you that he's as wholesome as they come. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke -- and he doesn't curse.

Maybe there's an occasional "aw shucks," but that's about it.

The GOP candidate's supporters say he's a devout Mormon who's all about faith, family, and trying to do what's right.

Wow—this Mitt Romney guy sounds shuckin’ awesome! I’d like to help him out by suggesting an equally awesome campaign slogan:

Gott Mit Romney

What do you think? It’s short (and therefore suitable for bumper stickers, buttons, or belt buckles), it’s a play on words (“mit” and “Mitt”—Cute!), and it connotes a "certain something" that I think many Republicans will find very attractive.

Tags: mitt romney, religion, politics, humor

I Am NOT the Messiah!

For your holiday viewing pleasure, here’s a clip from an old favorite, Monty Python’s The Life of Brian:

Technorati tags: monty python, life of brian, religion, youtube, humor

George Washington!

Technorati tags: YouTube, george washington, humor

Disco Jebus!

I found this gem at J-Walk:

Technorati tags: humor

Saturday Funnies

Enjoy:

Feel free to add your own caption in the comments section...

Technorati tags: Bush, dumbass, nimrod

The “Bush Bulge” Solved?

Remember when the Internets were abuzz with the mystery of the “Bush Bulge”?

Mysterious tubed apparatus

Well, I think I’ve finally solved the case.

The "Beer Belly"

Of course, Bush is wearing it backward, but that’s probably for concealment purposes. Or maybe he had trouble with the instructions…