"How long do you have to get hit in the head before you start asking who's hitting you in the head?"

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Thank GOD for the Beach Burka!

The makers of WholesomeWear swimsuits would like women to cover up their tummies. And their backs. And their arms. And half their legs. The Oregon company, based outside Portland, sells a collection of swimwear online that consists of a wet suit topped by a dress. The spandex underpinning is not sufficient on its own because bystanders would still be able to make out the curves of the woman's body. The nylon overdress takes care of any audacious display of an hourglass shape.

The company may not be preaching to a specific denomination, but it is nonetheless preaching. Ferguson describes her family as "Christian people who love the Lord." And the swimsuits are "a ministry."

WholesomeWear is far better than the immoral alternative, I guess…but if you ask me, only unsaved whores would want to go to the beach in the first place! And maybe witches—they can float, you know. Why don’t the good husbands and fathers of these imperfect, imperiled females take dominion over them and keep them indoors where they can’t entice decent, god-fearing men into sinful thoughts or actions?

And although the beach burka is a good way to protect men from the sight of our dirty, shameful lady parts, I don't think it goes quite far enough: Perhaps we should bring back the post-menstrual turtle sacrifice, too.

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

How is Condi, BTW?

At today’s joint press availability with Chancellor Merkel, Bush was asked a serious question about two very serious subjects:
Q [. . .] Does it concern you that the Beirut airport has been bombed? And do you see a risk of triggering a wider war?

And on Iran, they've, so far, refused to respond. Is it now past the deadline, or do they still have more time to respond?
Per usual, he gives a truly statesmanlike response:
PRESIDENT BUSH: I thought you were going to ask me about the pig.
Question: Do you think he’s a sociopath or just an idiot?

“Oh sweet, magical Jebus…watch over me during this press thingie…and please, oh please, let evading the subject of war be as easy for me as evading actually fighting in one was...”

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Saturday Funnies


Feel free to add your own caption in the comments section...

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Bombs Bursting in Air

I’ve been working round the clock since I got back to LA (I even have to go to the office this afternoon, damn it!), so I haven’t had too much time to catch up on the news. What I have seen isn’t too peachy, though: Bush wants to bomb Iran, and North Korea wants to nuke us. That’s. Just. Fucking. Great.

Speaking of North Korea, you really should rent A State of Mind. As the title implies, this fascinating documentary immerses its audience in the North Korean mindset (which way of thinking is decidedly creepy and crazy, but which also makes a certain sense).

While watching the DVD, I found myself thinking that North Korea resembled a Neo-Republican paradise: Patriarchal, groupthinking, poorly informed, intensely paranoid, and slavishly worshipful of the leader.

Check it out and let me know your thoughts; I’ve got to go to work now (double damn it!).

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