Christian Persecution Alert!

A man of God has been imprisoned for living the Word:

A pastor accused of killing an elderly friend to get at his multimillion-dollar trust fund appeared briefly in court Friday on charges of murder and embezzlement, and was ordered held without bail.

I can understand why you might think this sounds pretty bad…I mean, as Our Godly Leader Himself said recently, “I think any time you murder somebody, you're a criminal.” But don’t rush to judgment just yet, because there’s more to the story:

Frank Craig, a farmer relatives say rarely set foot in church, had given Porter control of a trust reportedly worth $4 million. The 85-year-old was trying to save enough to build a museum to house his antique farm equipment.

Did you get that? The victim rarely set foot in church! And if there’s anything we bible-believers know, it’s that God says it’s okay to kill non-believers and to keep their stuff:

And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

So the only real transgression I can see here is that Pastor Porter drowned Mr. Craig instead of smiting his infidel ass with a sword.

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